PART 1

Quote one:

 While Southan is a writer, one who really enjoys art, the EA’s want almost nothing to do with it. “Artists. Meanwhile, paint beautiful landscape in front of them while the rest of the world burns”(437).

Revision:

 While Southan is a writer, one who really enjoys art, the EA’s want almost nothing to do with it. They disagree with his opinions on art when they say “Artists. Meanwhile, paint beautiful landscape in front of them while the rest of the world burns”(437).

Quote two:

Later in Southan’s essay he explains how a member of the EA wanted art. “I would really love to have some artists. We really need visual designers. It would be great to have people think about Effective Altruism could be promoted through art.”(437).

Revision:

Later in Southan’s essay he points out how a member of the EA actually wanted art. According to Southan, the EA member stated, “I would really love to have some artists. We really need visual designers. It would be great to have people think about Effective Altruism could be promoted through art.”(437).

PART TWO

This is an eye opener. Kaphar talks about “the impact that art can have”(10:38).

Alteration:

This is an eye opener. Kaphar talks about the impact that art can have multiple times during his Ted Talk. At one point he starts to explain the importance of the historical art he’s standing up for.  “The impact on these kinds of paintings on people most vulnerable in society, seeing these kinds of depictions of themselves all the time.” (10:38).

 

Reflection:

I am so happy to have done this! I feel much better about these quotes now and how they fit in the paragraphs that they are in! It strongly encourages me to go back and revise the rest of my quotes. I felt before that these quotes were a little awkward where they sat, so I am happy to have done this, hopefully it’s done correctly.